Suicide Is Not The Answer
The pain of losing someone can be devastating
and it doesn’t matter whether you lose that person to death or to
someone else, the emotions that follow are all the same, in fact in
my opinion death is often easier to deal with because there is at
least a certain finality, closure, although death is far from final
as the spirit moves on and evolves.
Death is yet another doorway into life, a path
that is lit with a brilliant white light, where the soul is able to
lay the heavy burden of its earthly body down, shed its troubles and
release its fear, the part of us that feels fear is the mortal part,
the human part, the spirit knows no fear, in the etheric world
energy is all the same, all consuming and encompassing, time
doesn’t exist as there are no clocks in the realm of spirit, time
is intangible in the realm of spirit, however, in the realm of the
physical time is marked by the changing of the seasons, the ever
lucent glow of the Moon and the rising and setting of the Sun daily
marks time here on Earth.
Death is a natural part of life, it is meant to
be that way, murder and suicide are highly offensive to the Gods of
karma and for one to take their own life is to question the wisdom
of the Goddess, the Godhead and the Divine life force. When death
occurs naturally, through no fault of our own, our soul is able to
progress in life, when someone commits such a heinous crime against
nature such as suicide they stump their spiritual growth and will no
doubt have to relearn the very valuable lessons that they missed all
over again, some sects of Witches believe that the soul is instantly
reincarnated, I have yet to decide my position on that, but I can
say that mostly I am inclined to agree.
Pain is for the living, souls do not feel
earthly pain as that is an experience that is reserved for when we
are in our physical bodies, now, heartbreak is ruled by our
emotional selves and the emotions primarily manifest on the astral
plane, so I am of the opinion that souls can recall the emotional
pain that they have experienced while in their physical bodies, the
trick that each and every individual has to learn is to release
their pain without losing their minds or doing something that is
totally non-conducive to
the natural flow of their life, such as suicide.
Suicide as we all know is a permanent solution
to a temporary problem and problems are meant to keep us on our toes
and there is not an issue that is larger than life, there is not a
MAN, WOMAN or SITUATION that is worth taking your life over and if
that is the effect that someone has on you whether you are with them
or not, you do not need them in your life to begin with, when a
person takes their own life they not only damage their physical
body, but they damage their soul as well, and in some cases may even
become earthbound doomed to repeat the final hours that led up to
their self inflicted abortion over and over again until someone
releases their spirit and shows them the way into the light or as I
like to think of it across the bridge into the Summerland, the price
tag is simply not worth it, you are better off sucking it up, taking
the licks that life has to offer and playing the hand that you were
dealt, with the best of your ability.
I personally have attended two funerals where
the individuals committed suicide, I will not honor suicide by
calling them a victim, suicide is a selfish act, the victims are the
ones who are left behind to clean up the mess and to scrape the
brains off of the walls and mop up the blood, one of the funerals
that I attended was the father of a friend of mine, I attended out
of moral support and compassion for my friend, Mark’s father put a
loaded gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger on Christmas Day in
1997, the day after Mark who was twenty-one at the time came out of
the closet and revealed his gayness to his parents and siblings, in
the suicide note Mark’s father stated that he just couldn’t go
on with his life and hold his head up knowing that his eldest son
was a faggot!
Mark’s father was a selfish old fool, not
only did he take the easy way out, but he scarred his son for life,
not only did Mark lose his dad, but his mother, sister and younger
brother refuse to have anything to do with him, they blame him for
the death of his father and to this day Mark refuses to allow
himself to become involved with another man, he has vowed never to
love anyone, what a shame! Mark is a wonderful good-hearted man who
has much to teach and share, but the flame of his spirit has grown
weak and dim and my fear is not that he will kill himself, but that
he will just lose the will to go on and keep moving, sad indeed!
The funeral was probably the saddest sight that
I have ever witnessed, in fact both of the funerals where death
occurred by suicide were very sad, quiet pitiful, the families were
more embarrassed than they were grief stricken, in a Witches’
world death that happens naturally is revered, instead of mourning
we celebrate the life and accomplishments of our loved one and we
usher him or her into the arms of our waiting Mother, the Goddess,
we know and understand that energy is never lost or destroyed, the
individual life-force is as fluid as the rivers and streams, ever
flowing and ever changing, just as water evaporates unto the clouds,
when we leave our earthly bodies we too flow back to whence we came.
The other funeral that I attended was in 1994,
this man was very well known, he was a producer of films and at one
point a multimillionaire, he lost everything due to financial
conflicts, he returned to his home that was confiscated and parked
in the garage with the motor running, rolled up the windows and
drank a fifth of Jack Daniels and suffocated, out of all the
hundreds of people who knew him only ten turned out at his wake and
from my understanding even less than that were present the day they
laid his body to rest, he left behind a wife who now lives on booze
and pain killers, two young children, one is now in jail for auto
theft and the other one lives on antidepressants, the emotional and
psychological pain is often too much and the saddest part of all is
that he ended his life by choice, but in doing so he ruined the
lives of those that he loved most or maybe he didn’t love them as
much as he thought he did, because love may not fix all of our
problems but it is at least a start and we already know that in
order to love someone else we must love ourselves first and self
inflicted harm does not qualify as self love!
Death is indeed a natural part of life; the
keyword is “natural” when a loved one has led a long and full
life or has endured a long-term illness we prepare ourselves
somewhat for the inevitable, although no one is ever really prepared
to lose a loved one and whether the loss was to death or to
circumstances beyond our control we must allow ourselves to go
through a grieving period, it is the only way that our heart can
heal itself.
I decided to write about this subject because
all too often I will have a client that claims to be suffering so
bad emotionally over the demise of their relationship that they feel
they just cannot go on, well, I have a strict policy if a potential
client reveals that to me prior to me agreeing to work with them, I
immediately bow out and provide them with an 800 number for the
suicide hotline, I will not accept someone as a client who professes
something of that nature to me, now, if someone who is a client
indicates to me that they may be contemplating such an act as
suicide I will almost always drop them as a client and refer them to
the suicide hotline, because I am not a counselor and if someone is
considering suicide they need a professional, someone trained in the
mental health field who is well versed to deal with such matters, I
am not trained to deal with people who are suicidal and will not
make an attempt to do so, I know my boundaries, spiritually,
morally, ethically and legally and with that said I have dropped
several clients in the past and will most definitely do so again if
this issue arises.
The most important thing that anyone who is
contemplating suicide needs to know is that there is hope and there
are answers and resolutions to your problems that don’t include
inflicting harm upon yourself.
Folks the bottom line is this, if you are
feeling suicidal over a relationship that ended, you need to step
back and take a look at the role that you played, that is the first
step in fixing the problem, identifying and analyzing the
contribution that you made in the breakup, separation or divorce and
keep in mind that you can only take responsibility for the part that
you played, therefore you can only fix the damage caused by you, but
through love comes understanding and through love, compassion is
born and if you truly love that person allow the compassion and
understanding to flow through you unto them, the way that you do
this, is through self love, not by causing harm to yourself and any
way if you are suicidal because your relationship ended it is not
love, my friend you are dealing with obsession and truthfully it may
be obsession that got you where you are at, right now!
In order to manifest the desired change within
your life action is required, but before you act stop and think,
consider those around you who love you and whose lives will be
altered by the selfish act of suicide, suicide is not the answer, I
have been taught my entire life that if you are not part of the
solution, then you are a part of the problem, the only thing that
suicide accomplishes is guaranteeing you a one way ticket right back
into the mess that you leave behind, sure it may not be the exact
setting or even people, but you will re-live every single moment and
lesson that led up to your self-inflicted-abortion all over again
and in some religions especially those who believe in hell you may
end up spending the rest of your life in an earthbound purgatory,
either way doesn’t sound very appetizing and is counterproductive
to the natural flow of your life, learn your lessons now and take
control of your life!
I, speaking from personal experience, know how
hard it is to deal with the losses that we face in our physical
bodies and in my younger days I, too contemplated ending my pain,
but I came to realize that life is often filled with battles, and
the scars that we show as a result only builds character and makes
us stronger, and a strong person is more attractive on all levels as
opposed to a weaker minded individual and I mean no disrespect, but
suicidal thoughts are sure signs of weakness and if you are
suffering, if life has dealt you
too many harsh blows and you are feeling or contemplating
succumbing to suicide take action and get help now, asking for help
is the first step in the process of making yourself whole, otherwise
you will never be ready to deal with a relationship again.
Love yourself, be true to yourself, live your
life with God like principals, set goals, create a plan and follow
through. Work on yourself Spiritually, Emotionally, Mentally and
Physically and most of all make your well being a priority, in doing
so you will enable someone else to make you a priority in their life
as well! There is nothing more unattractive than a needy, clingy
individual, work your magic and come from a place of strength and do
not be afraid of asking for the help that you need. I have taken the
liberty to include the website and phone numbers of a few crisis
hotlines.
United
States: 1-800-273-8255
Canada: 1-800-668-6868
As the holidays approach my staff and I would
like to bid each and everyone of you a safe and glorious
celebration, may the Yuletide find you surrounded by happiness and
in the arms of the one that you love, may the coming New Year bring
you an abundance of love and prosperity and in 2006 may your true
life path be revealed unto you and may you learn your mysteries
well!
Blessed be, Phelan
